Another catastrophe

Well, once again I made a wrong decision... I am getting tired of bad decisions. Perhaps I should try to keep quiet and don't do anything anymore

Oh well, I am so depressed I don't want to talk about anything so


Bye bye

Catastrophe

Well the catastrophe happened to my investment and I just had to bail out. RHAT is going up like there's no tomorrow. The pig is now about 40 times sales. I will short it once it starts going down

Update

By the way... I took the plunge and went short RHAT at $26... let's see how that plays out.
I think that at 346 times earning and 35 times sales the stock is a catastrophe just waiting to happen... hope I can reap the rewards
I need to make up for those two awful pathetic mistakes I made with CSCO and MSFT.

The day after Victoria Day

It is really a sad state of affairs when people have to get intoxicated in order to "enjoy" time and relax. When there's so many things that one can do without resorting to alcohol, drugs, etc. I still don't understand why people insist on causing themselves harm.

And yep, you guessed it, Parsifal again today: Kna '62 on my way to work and back. At home I kicked back and relaxed with... well, Parsifal; but this time Barenboim's version. How can someone not know and enjoy this work? It is when in the presence of these great works of art that one realized all that man can achieve. Many of these geniuses are sadly not with us anymore but their spirit lives on in their works.

When compared to that I ask myself how important it really is to toil day after day so that a company can make more money. 80 years from now I will definitely not be around and by that time it will be absolutely irrelevant.

Questions

Does Love really exist or is it just a trick on the senses played by mother nature? Do we reproduce because we love or are we forced to love because we reproduce?
Wouldn't love be a higher state of friendship?
All of those interesting questions will remain unanswered for the time being. That does not prevent me from asking myself: Have I loved? Have I ever really loved? or has it all been an illusion created by the human need to love no matter whom?
Is it something that is in our genes? Or is it all convenience. Can there be selfless love or do we always love because we want something in return....
I don't think I have ever experienced real love (I believe I thought I loved and was loved, but in retrospect I am sure I wasn't). Perhaps such thing exists only in works of art because of its idealized nature.
In any case, I hope to experience it... or is it worth the pain?

Go West

Finished the Stuttgart "Siegfried". It definitely left me with mixed emotions but mostly positive ones. I liked Jon Fredric West (yes, this is true) as Siegfried. I think he's got a pretty hefty voice, though not a very beautiful one. However, in terms of beefiness and loudness he was right on the money. Visually he wasn't the best though.
Lisa Gasteen was very good as Bruenhilde too but the best ones were Goehrig's Mime and Wolfgang Schoene's Wanderer.

Wagner Werke

Here's the order in which I started analyzing and getting involved in the Wagnerian works:

Siegfried
Das Rheingold
Goetterdaemmerung
Lohengrin
Der fliegende Hollaender
Die Walkuere
Tristan und Isolde
Tannhaeuser
Parsifal <-- My current obsession. Wagner's last work
Die Meistersinger von Nuernberg (I still haven't quite gotten into it)

I don't have any recording of Die Feen, Das Liebesverbot or Rienzi.

Keeping myself alive

Just got a hold of a DVD of Siegried from Stuttgart with Jon Fredric West. Hope it's worth it but judging by the DVD cover I don't think so.

Parsifal Act II has started to grow in me. I can follow all the motives and most of the text in my head up to Kundry's "Parsifal". I can't get enough of Act I though.

Action in the stock market has been fairly limited but at this point I am thinking of the following:

- Long NOK at $13
- Short RHAT at $25
- Long AMZN at $40
- Short THC at $11.60

I will keep an eye on those ones along with my pathetic CSCO and MSFT. Hopefully I will find a way to snap out of this losing streak.

On May 24th we have Victoria Day so long weekend I will try to enjoy it to the fullest.

Zum Raum wird hier die Zeit

Not a lot going on lately. I am still hooked up on Pinker's "The Language Instinct" and Parsifal Act 1. I believe the climax of the act is Amfortas' refusal to partake in the ceremony of the Holy Grail (beginning with "Nein, lass ihn unenthuellt"). The level of emotion that Wagner achieved there is undescribable. I just can't get enough of it.

Insanity and Genius

Another confirmation that genius and madness are never too far away from each other and that they usually come together: Van Gogh.
I had never read about his life but now that I have I can understand the tremendous pain he was working under and appreciate his work in a different light. Not only were there some innate traits that made him prone to developing mental problems but also situations in his life (failed relationships) contributed to it. I have new respect for the man and his work.

On another subject, I was surprised to completely by coincidence come across someone recommending Steven Pinker's work. I am completely fascinated by it, especially "How the mind works" and the one that I am reading now: "The Language Instinct". It opens up a new world of possibilities and ways to look at why we act the way we do and at explaining everyday wonders that we usually take for granted.

I saw the movie "Swordfish" last night.... Nothing to write home about although I think it was an entertaining movie and with an interesting underlying theme (which ties in neatly with the content of "How the mind works" -see above-):

"What the eye sees and the ear hears, the mind believes"

Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy

It's hard to screw up a story such as "The Iliad", but the movie almost did. I liked the cinematography, the landscapes and the overall experience (including an interesting if somewhat repetitive use of music).
Some performances were great (Hector, King Priam) some were good (Helen, Paris, Odysseus) and the most important character was not entirely believable in my opinion: Brad Pitt's Achilles.
I never felt any empathy for the character. There was not enough characted development even after Priam's visit. Also, we never got to experience the emotional bond between Achilles and Patroclus, which is the reason why Achilles went back to war in the first place. I felt that they knew each other but not that Achilles' sadness was enough for him to make that momentous decision.
Also, I think they downplayed the desecration of Hector's body and that is an important part too because it links back to Achilles' relationship with Patroclus.
In summary, I got what I expected but not more...

Mein Herz ist müde

Today I got Waltraud Meier's DVD "I follow a voice within me". It's a very interesting documentary about this great German mezzosoprano. Among the most interesting excerpts were Highlights of a Walkuere in Bayreuth with none other than Placido Domingo as Siegmund (I believe that was 1993).

Incredibly moving and depressing was a Liederabend also included in the DVD. Mahler's "Das Lied von der Erde" which never fails to move me almost to tears. How else could it be when you have lines like:

2.- Der Einsame im Herbst
...
Mein Herz ist müde.
Meine kleine Lampe Erlosch mit Knistern;
es gemahnt mich an den Schlaf.
Ich komm zu dir, traute Ruhestätte!
Ja, gib mir Ruh, ich hab Erquickung not!
Ich weine viel in meinen Einsamkeiten.
Der Herbst in meinem Herzen währt zu lange.
Sonne der Liebe, willst du nie mehr scheinen,
Um meine bittern Tränen mild aufzutrocknen

After this, one just wants to go somewhere and meditate about life, death and everything in between.

Irony, anger, sadness, desperation, resignation they are all well represented in Mahler's song cycle.

How fitting it was to end the day with something like that...

Names

Tristan?

Why Tristan? you might ask and well, if you know me (and I think you do since you're reading this) you'll know that it's a reference to the lead character in Richard Wagner's Music Drama "Tristan und Isolde". Besides the obvious reasons about its importance in the history of music and as the summit of romanticism, Tristan und Isolde stands as a monument to love.

Wagner an Liszt (Herbst 1854):

»da ich im Leben nie das eigentliche Glück der Liebe genossen habe, so will ich diesem schönsten aller Träume noch ein Denkmal setzen, in dem von Anfang bis zum Ende diese Liebe sich einmal so recht sättigen soll; ich habe im Kopfe einen Tristan und Isolde entworfen, die einfachste, aber vollblutigste musikalische Konzeption; mit der schwarzen Flagge, die am Ende weht, will ich mich dann zudecken - um zu sterben.«

‘Since I myself have never experienced the true happiness of love’, Wagner wrote in December 1854, ‘I intend to erect another monument to this most beautiful of all dreams, in which, from beginning to end, this love will for once be truly satiated: in my head I have sketched a Tristan and Isolde, the simplest but most full-blooded musical conception; and in the “black flag” hoist at the end, I will wrap myself—to die.’

Wagner refers not to love in a physical sense or even in a spiritual sense but in a way that combines these two, where two people are really one and difference are meaningless. The 1865 part is of course the year that it was premiered (though it had been composed 6 years before).

Parsifal

Lately, I've been insanely infatuated with Wagner's last work: "Parsifal". I have been listening to it every time I have the slightest chance to do so. It's almost obsessive behaviour but it's hard to resist its magnificent beauty and the supreme profoundness of this work. Many people claim that this is a "Christian" work but I completely disagree. How could a "Christian" work openly talk about reincarnation. This work is more buddhist than Christian, despite the heavy religious symbolism (The Holy Grail, the Spear that pierced Jesus, the washing of the feet, the baptism etc.). Wagner does not present a world where man is the master of nature and where the rest of the animal kingdom has been put on earth with the specific goal of serving man. In fact, Wagner openly spoke (and wrote) against vivisectionism and is known to have had several pets which he treated with love and care (his last dog lies buried besides its Master at Haus Wahnfried in Bayreuth).

Parsifal is a work that is about so many things and where its message is beautifully conveyed by its music. Glorious but simple, with grandeur but that doesn't feel out of place. In short, words would fail to describe the different emotions that it arises in its listeners and it's something that is best left for people to experience by themselves so if you get a chance don't hesitate to listen to this work and marvel at its beauty.

Land of the free

Considerable controversy has been surrounding several issues related to Iraq in the american media. People seem to be more upset about the fact that evil deeds were recorded (in the form of pictures) for everyone to see, than about the fact that these atrocious behaviour has been shown by american soldiers. It's hard to believe that some people actually support this unnecessary and unilateral invasion. Now that the truth has come to light and that it's been shown that american soldiers are just as barbaric as the people that they are supposed to be replacing I believe it's time for everyone to realize that this course of action is not only immoral but it's also illegal.

Iraq never posed a real threat to America, it was however tempting to invade it for two reasons:

1.- As a personal revenge on the part of GWB (avenging his father)
2.- Oil

As history has shown time and again, Religious and Economic power are evil forces that threaten peace on earth and that we might just blow ourselves to pieces and with us the whole planet. Roughly 4 billion years that our planet has existed will vanish in a second if we don't realize that this stupid quest for power and (religious and economic) supremacy could prove to be our downfall.

I guess it's only humans that could destroy the earth with our actions. Animals would never do that. Perhaps they are more evolved than us.

What a contrast: Parsifal and Iraq. There is however a link... Gamuret (Parsifal's father) died in battle in the Middle East (most probably in Arabia). He was fighting to defend Christianity while trying to obliterate people who dared to think differently. I guess some things never change.

First one

What is one supposed to include in one's first post to a blog? I have no idea and since as of now there is no one else that will read these lines but myself, I intend it to be a place where I can sort of open up and put my thoughts in order.

I see this as perhaps a kind of journal that has the considerable advantage of being in electronic form so there's no way those lines are going to go missing unless I myself delete them or something like that. It's not like a real diary (though I have never kept one) but it's the closest thing to it (I think).

What am I going to include in here?

Primarily inner thoughts, things that I sometimes find myself thinking about and that for some reason I want to keep so that I can later go back, re-read them and see a snapshot of the way I used to think on that particular day. I am going to try to refrain from posting things that happen during the day and things like that because those are not the things that people who read these lines should know about me but rather how I think and what my thoughts, feelings and opinions on several different topics are. I think that is much more important than a simple retelling of the events of the day. If you are reading these lines that means that you are important to me and I am confident that you will find these lines interesting.

Tomorrow I will try to explain in more details who I am, how I see myself and a little bit more about... guess who... me.